


sanctuary

by agenderbenry



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Emotional Healing, M/M, Talking About Trauma, they/them pronouns for wash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 07:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22492561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenderbenry/pseuds/agenderbenry
Summary: Wash had always thought of themselves as sharp and clunky, being clumsy and awkward as a kid and growing up, sharp as they were filled with grief and anger in their later life. Now… they didn’t know what they were. They were away from their team, away from any semblance of home. But right now, right here, they felt just a little bit more whole. Where they seemed to lose any touch of reality, Donut grounded them to this moment.
Relationships: Franklin Delano Donut/Agent Washington
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! its sure been a while since i posted on here!! but i recently rediscovered this fic and wanted to end it so here it is. 
> 
> shoutout to nico my best friend nico were letting me yell at aer and writing the teeny tiny amount of sarge dialogue for me because i was loopy and couldnt take his southern accent seriously. also the title is from sanctuary by welshly arms.
> 
> enjoy!

A knock on their door interrupts Wash’s reading.

“Yes?” They say after throwing a glance at the clock (just a few minutes after midnight). To their surprise, Donut opens the door and looks into their room sheepishly.

“Hey Wash,” Donut says, “I saw you still had your light on.” He throws them a shy smile.

“Yeah, I was just reading.” Wash places a bookmark in between the pages and sits up from their reclined position in bed. “Come in.”   
  


He and Donut hadn’t interacted much since fighting together on Chorus. Living on Iris didn’t change the team dynamics much, they are still living in separate houses and only sometimes actively spend their time together. It’s nice living here though, with lots of space and people Wash loves. 

Donut closes the door behind him and awkwardly stands in the middle of Wash’s room. They hadn’t decorated much, only a few pictures Caboose had taken and some of Tucker’s drawings were loosely hung up on the walls of the otherwise pretty barren room. Wash swings their legs over the edge of their bed and motions for Donut to sit on the chair by their desk.

“So… what’s up?” They ask once Donut sat down and pulled his legs up to his chest. Wash notes that Donut looks… somewhat nervous. They don’t know what to expect from this conversation since the last time they had really talked to Donut had been quite a while ago and they also don’t know what would be making Donut nervous around them.

“I was just-” Donut stops and sighs. “I was thinking. About when we were in the Federal Army base.” Wash nods, knowing somewhat of where this conversation might lead. None of them, neither Sarge or Donut, had ever brought up their time together. It was hard then, being apart from their teams and not knowing what would happen the following day or week. They had always been on the move, being moved from base to base without knowing about the move beforehand, all the while trying to find a way to rescue their friends.

“Do you remember the first night we spent together?” Wash smiles slightly at the memory. 

“Yeah, when Sarge refused to take the bed and-”   
  
“No.” Donut interrupts them, startling Wash a little. “No, I mean when- when it was just us two.” He looks away from where Wash was sitting and seems suddenly highly interested on a blank spot on the wall. It immediately hits Wash.

___________________

They had recently been moved into a new base, maybe two weeks into their stay with the Feds. The Army had two free rooms, as opposed to the one room they had usually been given. Wash expected Donut to want to stay with Sarge, but he jumped on the opportunity to give Sarge the single room, claiming that he deserved some quiet time. If Donut was referring to himself or Wash with the unspoken words wasn’t clear but after some hesitance from Sarge, he agreed. 

When night came, Wash was left alone with Donut. They weren’t sure if this had ever happened before but they weren’t too worried. Why would they have been? Donut was nice, if a bit _ too much  _ for Wash sometimes, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t spent the last two weeks together.

They settled into their rooms earlier so they could easily take off their armor and go to sleep. And that’s what they did. But everytime Donut took off his helmet, Wash couldn’t help but wonder about the scar marking half of his face. They hadn’t asked about it before because of their own unwillingness to share the stories about most of their scars. But this time, Donut caught them staring.

“Seeing something you like?” He joked with a soft smile. Wash looked away, embarrassed of their staring. “It’s fine, I’m used to the looks!” Donut placed his helmet on the drawer. “I guess you weren’t there for Blood Gulch, huh? I’m so used to everyone knowing the story.”

“Tell me about it.” Wash heard themselves say, quite shocked by their rashness and added: “I mean, if you want.” They turned away from Donut and started taking off their leg armor. Donut laughed again and started telling the story of how Tex of all people threw a grenade at his head.

“Jesus.” Wash muttered under their breath. At this point they were down to their undersuit and started peeling it off; the warm climate on Chorus made it stick to their skin uncomfortably. They didn’t notice that Donut had trailed off until they felt warm fingers touch their back. Wash immediately tensed up and nearly turned around forcefully but the touch felt too nice and warm to be intended to hurt.

“You got some pretty bad scars yourself…” Donut’s voice was soft and sad, his fingers lingering near the small of Wash’s back, directly on the scar that was left by South’s betrayal.

“Yeah.” That was all they managed to say. The air in the room had suddenly changed, it seemed more charged, like the calm right before you press the trigger. But instead of steel and blood, this was more like a rainy summer day and running through a field. Wash turned around slowly, Donut’s fingers remaining in position so that his fingers were resting on Wash’s stomach.

“Tell me about it.” Donut was looking up at them, his brown eyes sure and steady. Wash normally would have turned away, done everything to cover up the truth but something about Donut’s eyes and the way his undersuit was slightly unzipped, showing the curve of his neck, made them start talking.

“It happened while I was still working for Freelancer. A former… friend,” they nearly choked on the word, “shot me in the back and left me for dead.” Donut’s eyes grow sad and his fingers tense into almost a fist.

“I’m sorry.” Wash didn’t know if he was apologizing for bringing it up or saying sorry like everyone does when they find out something about their past. They’re about to reply with their standard reply but unexpectedly, Donut hugs them softly, his arms warm and welcome on Wash’s naked skin. They stand there for a few moments, unmoving, before moving to embrace Donut as well.

Just like the touch before, Donut was soft and warm and it made Wash relax almost immediately. They felt Donut’s face morph into a smile before he pressed his face into the space between their head and shoulder. Wash smiled as well, slowly turning their head so their face was almost buried in Donut’s hair. It was soft, just like everything about him.

Wash had always thought of themselves as sharp and clunky, being clumsy and awkward as a kid and growing up, sharp as they were filled with grief and anger in their later life. Now… they didn’t know what they were. They were away from their team, away from any semblance of home. But right now, right here, they felt just a little bit more whole. Where they seemed to lose any touch of reality, Donut grounded them to this moment. 

They stayed like this for a long while, just standing in each other’s space, holding on tightly. Wash could tell that Donut had needed this too; he had relaxed into the hug just as much as they had. Donut was faced with the exact same situation, he too was away from his friends who could be in danger, who could be hurt or afraid. This had taken a toll on him, on all of them. Wash decided that they were going to do everything in their power to get Donut out of here. 

Eventually, Donut lifted his head from their shoulder and searched for their gaze. Wash nearly removed their arms from his shoulders but kept them there after realizing that Donut wasn’t backing away, instead just moving his hands to rest on their waist, right above where their forgotten undersuit was bunching up. 

Donut was really close, was the first time crossed Wash’s mind. Then: Donut was looking at them deeply. Followed by: Donut is stealing glances at their lips. 

And then, like Wash had spent the last few years of their life in full romance, Donut moved forward and Wash closed their eyes and suddenly, they were kissing. Donut’s lips were soft and they were warm and Wash could get lost in them forever, they thought. But just as quickly as the kiss had started, it ended.

Wash opened their eyes to see Donut, absolutely stunning and beautiful Donut, exactly where they had left him, but his eyes were darker, his pupils nearly covering his entire iris. And then Wash moved forward, connecting their lips again. As opposed to the soft kiss before, this one was hungry and wanting. Donut’s hands were grasping Wash’s hips now and Wash had grabbed a hold of the back of his neck, barely touching his implantation side, the other resting on the side of it. And then suddenly-

A knock. Wash’s eyes flew open immediately, leaving their pink tinted sanctuary with a shock, to suddenly becoming aware that they were standing in an unknown base on an unknown planet. Donut seemed to feel the same because he stepped away from Wash just as the door opened to reveal Sarge in full armor. 

"Boys, sorry t' barge in on ya, but I got some bad news." Donut awkwardly shuffled further away from Wash, but Sarge seems to not have noticed what was going on before he barged in. "Feds made a mistake, turns out there's only one room after all! Seems like some of us oughta share a bed." Wash nearly bursted into nervous laughter, but instead only threw a panicked glance over to Donut, who seemed to be in a similar predicament, pressing his lips together tightly. 

“It’s fine,” Wash manages after Sarge has closed the door and pulled off his helmet, “I’ll sleep on the floor.” Sarge was about to argue but Wash cut him off. “It’s fine, I’ll go asking for a spare mattress.” They left the room quickly, not waiting for Sarge or Donut to argue. 

They returned a short while later only to find Sarge and Donut already lying on the cots. Sarge greeted them and offered to help with the mattress but Wash declined. Before they lay down however, they stole a quick glance at Donut but he was already fast asleep.

___________________

“Yeah, I remember.” Wash looks away from Donut as they are going through the memory. Now they  _ definitely _ know where this was going. While they aren’t looking, Donut gets up from the chair and walks over to the bed, coming to a stand in front of Wash. They look up at him, noticing that he is nervously chewing his lips, so unlike his usual self. Wash has to restrain themselves from grabbing a hold of his hands.

To be honest, Wash had thought about that night as well. They always wanted to bring it up to Donut, but an opportunity rarely arose. They were never alone, especially once they got back to their team and fought on Chorus. Now, with the death of Epsilon and moving to Iris, everyone seemed to never want to be alone again, which Wash definitely didn’t mind but it also meant that someone was always with them when Donut was there. 

“I’ve just-” Donut suddenly begins, “I’ve been thinking about that night- the kiss, I mean, for a while now and I just wanted you to know that even if you don’t feel the same, I really liked that and I wouldn’t mind doing it again and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it but I never knew how to bring it up and I was talking to Grif and he said I should just go for it so... Here I am. Going for it.” Donut ends his ramble with a deep sigh, like he was running out of air while speaking. 

Wash looks at him in disbelief at first, but then their face slowly moves into a smile while they watch Donut’s expression morph from worried and nervous into relieved and happy until they’re both just beaming at each other.

“Sorry for the ramble.” He says and this time, Wash doesn’t stop themselves from taking his hands into theirs.

“I really liked that night too.” They move their eyes to their intertwined hands while speaking and a few butterflies flutter in their stomach when Donut runs his thumb over their fingers. It feels like it has been a lifetime since they felt this way. 

“Well, in that case!” Donut moves quickly, using their hands as leverage to climb onto Wash’s lap. Wash is too dumbstruck to even react before placing their hands on the small of Donut’s back and laughing quietly after he was fully sat down and moving his hand to their shoulders. Donut had always been a bit of a flirt, afterall. 

They look up into Donut’s eyes, steady and sure just like they were before they kissed all those months ago. And they remember how it felt, all soft without any sharp edges, forgetting what was happening around them. Maybe it was time to feel carefree again.

“Hi.” Wash breathes out, moving their face a little closer to Donut, who catches on.

“Hi.” He says back, giggling slightly and playing with a strand of hair right behind Wash’s ear. He shyly looks up between his lashes and smiles. Wash smiles right back and then tilts his head up with a finger. Without any hesitation, Donut moves in and kisses them on the lips. 

And without hesitation, Wash lets go and kisses him right back. 

**Author's Note:**

> extra bonus: the first draft i had for sarge's dialogue was "would ya believe it the feds made a darn mistake with the rooms, theres only one after all! dang rootin tootin basterds"


End file.
